She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
