Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
