I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
