I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Someone came in the potted fern
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
