you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
