I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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