Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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