I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
