We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
