Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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