you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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