I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She bit a glass in half.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
