i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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