You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Please don't give away my fajitas
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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