ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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