What a fucking waste of an outfit
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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