Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
