So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
