Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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