it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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