i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
