covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
