That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
