Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize