Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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