And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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