Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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