I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
