saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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