and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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