Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize