Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just had sex on a roof
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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