he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Enjoy the penises
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
