Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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