apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
