some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
