not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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