strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Come share oat with me in your robe
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
