I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
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I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You may now shotgun with the bride
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
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I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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