I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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