I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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