You smell like stripper and shame
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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