please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
