it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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