I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
