got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
