she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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