My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
