Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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