How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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