my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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