someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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