I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
