so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
