girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
