Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
