like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
