i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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