So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
