why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
