Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
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